Indecent question?

‘Indecent question’, chides my friend. I am taken aback. After all she had lured me into the trap by announcing her daughter’s confirmation at the new job. With bubbling empathy I had asked ‘what’s the salary?’ And got the drubbing.
Why is it wrong to ask what her salary is? I am not asking how many sovereigns of gold she possesses. Or whether she had planned both her children. Or what brand of panties she wears. Given her love of the gab, she will sooner or later divulge those facts!
Sets me thinking though about the potential or quotient of indecency of questions.

In descending order of indecency, ‘who are you?’ would perhaps top the list. Though ‘how old are you?’ is the acknowledged Star of Indecent Questions. The Beaters around Bushes would go jobless if ‘what do you want?’ shed its indecency. While the ‘where’, ‘why’ and ‘when’ questions have escaped social ostracism, it is the ‘how many’ and ‘how much’ which keeps the planet going-wise or unwise, clockwise or anticlockwise.

See the price sticker provocatively scratched on the packet of gifted embroidered hankies. Is it an added incentive for me to guess its right price? Or consider it priceless? Does a price tag double as a Worthiness Tag? (of the giver, receiver AND the object) Indecency notwithstanding, we humans seem hopelessly mired into numbers and wired to statistics-of the vital kind and otherwise. The urge to quantify is inborn. ‘Lots of love’ is perhaps fine but ‘loads of money’ or ‘pots of gold’ cannot escape the human(e) wish to know not only the number of pots, but also their vital stats.(Small pots, medium or XL).‘key in your vital stats’ read a recent article, ‘and order online perfectly fitting garments’. Likewise, good social fitting needs appropriate vital stats of social status.

Some breathe in numbers like oxygen, some oxide info with numbers, some send all information through a number detector to create mental algorithms(‘he must have spent at least twenty lakhs for his daughter’s wedding’; …). If the speed of light can be calculated to the tenth decimal place and if scientists can state the exact age of a grasshopper fossil, why is it indecent to know the age of the youthful looking woman? The value of Pi may never haunt the average human being but his mind can draw admirable bar graphs… If NASA says a space tourism package costs $ millions, why is wrong to ask how much the young couple spent to go to Goa on their honeymoon? If intelligence can be tagged in IQs, is it wrong to know how much marks x or y got? If knowing the GDP of my country is general knowledge, why not know that of my neighbours, who anyways matter just more in my small world? If it is fashionable to know how much a superstar demands per film, why is it wrong to know what the ENT surgeon downstairs (who has just bought the swankiest car) makes per month? If the internet can reveal in the highest traditions of transparency the financial workings of a MNC, why is it a crime to know how another household runs? I am glad the chanawalla round the bend has no qualms about revealing his meager income per day; or the friendly Mumbai taxi driver who is not offended when I ask him how much he earns in a month. He even tells me how much he sends to his family back in Lucknow. I feel better connected to a certain layer of the society I live in.

Nowhere else, it seems to me, are numbers so punched about as in cricket. Every move seems to be a record of sorts, a first in some way or other…the latest to this hugely number sport is fancy betting...of course the climax comes when the indecently-or is it obscenely-huge prize cheque is displayed for the world to gasp at…

Media thrives on the number game. From the number of hours an elephant mates to the American baby’s average size/number of burps in the first 45 days, isn’t information punctuated and substantiated by numbers? ’75 sovereigns of gold robbed from college lecturer’s house’ seems perfect to read. (How the hell could a lecturer amass SO much gold?) ‘Right-handed people live nine years longer than left-handed people’ informs one weboid.( change hands if you can) ‘5 year old girl runs 29.4 kms in 170 minutes on February 25th’‘In 1998, Sony sold 700 000 camcorders that had the technology to see through people’s clothes’.

Owning such an amazing invention may be beyond the means of most of us (you need to earn in six digits and have a solid bank balance for that), but wanting to see through other lives through numbers is often irresistible-mostly harmlessly so. (it should be legalized I feel)

Hmmm….isn’t the world one giant measuring tape? Or perhaps a huge weighing balance?A massive Russian Roulette? One big grandfather clock-gone digital? Did I say digital? Of course…number splitting competes favorably with hair splitting now! ‘long ago there lived a king’ would no longer fascinate kids. Nor would ‘and they lived happily ever after’…when it is common knowledge that stars die (with precise data), how could a prince and princess live forever? They would want precise dates.‘the yonder’ is beyond wonder now, what with probes scratching Mars to precision in milligrams in nanoseconds.

What then makes questions indecent? 5 days and 4 hours 35 minutes of analyzing the question tells me that questions, when born have infant-like innocence. It is when ‘why’, ‘why not’, ‘when’, ‘where’ and ‘how’ tag themselves to the questions that indecency sets in-dyed in one’s own prejudices. Simple linear information acquires angles…man is a 90% angular being did you say?

Ask with grace, imbibe with goodwill and process with respect…how is that?

Or conversely, disclose with discretion and share freely...

There comes my friend with a triumphant smile. ‘My daughter got her first salary cheque’…some decency please!!!